Who am I Becoming? Embracing Identity Transformation
- Julia Seidel
- Dec 30, 2024
- 6 min read
Updated: Jan 14
INTRODUCTION
Life is a series of transitions, each one reshaping our identity in ways we may not fully anticipate. Whether it’s a career shift, a change in relationships, or a deep personal awakening, these moments force us to pause and ask:
Who am I becoming?
For women navigating significant life changes, this question isn’t just introspection - it’s the beginning of an extraordinary journey of identity transformation. It’s about more than just adapting to change; it’s about intentionally stepping into a version of yourself that feels authentic, empowered, and deeply aligned with your values.
Yet, the process isn’t always easy. It often requires shedding societal labels, confronting limiting beliefs, and embracing the unknown. But when approached with intention, identity transformation becomes a powerful opportunity - not just to redefine your path, but to reconnect with the person you’ve always been beneath external expectations.
In this article, we’ll explore the phases of identity transformation, why it matters, and how you can navigate it with confidence and clarity.
What is Identity Transformation?
At its core, identity transformation is the process of shedding societal labels and stepping into a version of yourself that feels true and aligned - almost like rewriting your own identity matrix to reflect your authentic self.
It’s not about becoming someone entirely new; rather, it’s about uncovering who you’ve always been underneath the layers of expectation and self-doubt. This shift often creates a new way of approaching life, opening doors to unexpected opportunities.
This shift often comes during periods of personal transition - when life as you know it begins to feel misaligned.
Whether you’re leaving a well-paid job to pursue a calling, navigating a personal transition like embracing perimenopause and prioritising yourself, or stepping into a completely different career path that challenges your professional identity.
It challenges us to confront limiting beliefs, embrace new perspectives, and let go of societal labels. Understanding this process of identity transformation is key to navigating it with confidence and clarity.
Why understanding Identity Transformation matters
Embracing change can be daunting. Fear of failure, judgment, and leaving the comfort of stability often hold us back. But understanding the process of identity transformation helps you see these challenges as opportunities for growth, much like a comprehensive approach to personal evolution rather than a single event.
MY PERSONAL TRANSITION JOURNEY
"Resilience I didn't know I had"
When I transitioned from a stable corporate career in Frankfurt, Germany to a new life in rural England, I experienced profound self-doubt. I questioned my choices as I navigated a career shift and a completely new culture.
Yet, through this experience, I discovered resilience I didn’t know I had - unlocking deeper executive function skills that helped me navigate uncertainty with confidence.
This journey also required me to address underlying cognitive processes that often held me back - like perfectionism and fear of failure.
Identity change often involves recognising the limitations of your current environment . Unsupportive environments can reinforce unhealthy behaviours, but stepping out of them allows for growth and the recruitment of executive function to navigate challenges more effectively.
By embracing change, I learned that I wasn’t defined by my job title or societal expectations. Instead, I became someone who values authenticity over approval and growth over comfort. This shift not only empowered me personally but also strengthened my relationships and professional goals.
The four phases of Identity Transformation
Every journey of transformation unfolds in stages. Recognising these phases can help you move through them with intention:
Phase 1: Awareness
The first step is noticing that something feels off. Perhaps you feel stuck, dissatisfied, or out of sync with those around you. You may sense you’ve outgrown certain relationships or environments.
Common triggers include life events like a breakup, career stagnation, or unexpected feedback. For me, it was realising that my role as an employee no longer aligned with my values and desire for freedom.
Phase 2: Exploration
This phase is about self-reflection. What truly matters to you? What are your values, beliefs, and goals? Tools like journaling, personality tests (e.g., the Enneagram or High5 Strength Test), or even coaching can provide clarity. This phase often highlights the need for sustainable lifestyle modifications and re-examining health behaviours, including mental, emotional, and even physical aspects of well-being.
Understanding the foundational theory of transformation can also help - knowing that growth requires disruption of old patterns and creating space for new perspectives.
In my own journey, coaching became the tool that helped me redefine success and align my actions with my authentic self. This phase is your opportunity to reconnect with who you are at your core.
Phase 3: Experimentation
Transformation requires action.
Try new habits
Explore new skills, or
Immerse yourself in new environments.
Join a women’s circle
Start a creative hobby, or
Connect with like-minded individuals who inspire you.
Taking steps toward sustainable lifestyle modifications and engaging in physical activity can also ground you in this phase.
Failure may happen, but it doesn’t define you. Staying detached from outcomes allows you to embrace failure as a good learning exercise that leads to growth.
Leveraging social support from online communities or local groups can further bolster your journey.
Phase 4: Integration
In this final phase, the changes you’ve made become part of your daily life. You’ll notice old triggers fading and a newfound focus and confidence taking root.
True transformation is sustainable and continues to evolve as you grow. It’s important to maintain this growth by revisiting your progress and making reusable transformations that can be applied to other areas of your life.
The impact of Identity Transformation on relationships
As you evolve, your relationships will shift too. Some connections will deepen, while others may fall away. This is natural and part of the process.
For me, the greatest freedom came when I realised I didn’t need others to validate my choices. My happiness is my own responsibility. This perspective allowed me to create healthier, more fulfilling relationships, including one with my mother, who has since embarked on her own journey of growth.
Navigating resistance - whether from friends, family, or even yourself - requires compassion and clarity.
Remember, we cannot fully understand another person's thoughts or experiences - their judgments and perspectives are a reflection of their own internal world, not yours.
This realisation can free you from the weight of external opinions and allow you to focus on your own growth.
Real-life examples of transformation
I’ve worn many hats - corporate professional, dog walker, web developer, coach - and through these transitions, I learned what truly lights me up: empowering others.
"Success, for me, is no longer defined by titles or income."
Each career shift, while challenging, brought me closer to this clarity. Success, for me, is no longer defined by titles or income but by the confidence and alignment I feel within myself.
The tree structure of my growth has many branches, each representing an area where I chose to expand and redefine myself - much like how our foundational theory of identity shifts over time. These branches, while diverse, all connect back to a solid foundation of self-awareness and empowerment.
Practical tips for embracing Identity Transformation
Transformation can feel overwhelming, but it’s possible to navigate it with ease:
Surround yourself with support: Seek out a coach, mentor, or mutual-help groups that encourage growth. Being around like-minded individuals provides the evidence your brain needs to believe in possibility.
Prioritise self-care: Incorporate practices that ground you, like morning walks, quiet time, or evening routines. These habits create stability during periods of change.
Take small steps: Change doesn’t happen overnight. Start with one action - whether it’s journaling, signing up for a course, or reaching out to a mentor.
Explore future directions: Reflect on where you want your journey to lead. Consider using the indicator function of your past experiences to guide your next steps. Create goals that align with your values and revisit them regularly to maintain progress.
CONCLUSION
Embracing the journey of becoming
Identity transformation is not about discarding who you were - it’s about stepping into the fullest, most authentic version of yourself. It’s a process of peeling back the layers of expectation, fear, and self-doubt to uncover the strength, wisdom, and passion that have always been within you.
As you navigate this journey, remember that change is not linear. Some days will feel expansive and empowering, while others may bring uncertainty. But every step forward—no matter how small - brings you closer to alignment, fulfilment, and the life you are meant to lead.
The question "Who am I becoming?" is not one that requires a final answer. Instead, it’s an invitation to continuously evolve, to embrace growth with curiosity and courage.
Trust yourself, trust the process, and know that transformation is not about arriving somewhere new - it’s about rediscovering the brilliance of who you have always been.
Ready to step into your next chapter?
If you’re at a crossroads, navigating change, or seeking clarity in your personal or professional life, you don’t have to do it alone.
As a life and business coach, I provide a safe, supportive space for women ready to break free from limitations and embrace their full potential. Together, we’ll navigate your transformation with clarity, compassion, and confidence.
Let’s take the first step on this empowering journey - because who you’re becoming is worth it.
Book a free clarity call today and start stepping into the next version of you.
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